This little girl with red hair and a green flowery dress screams over the hustle of shoppers and talkers at a courtyard in an outdoor mall.

I sit in one of the big lounge chairs that are surrounded by big potted flowers and plants.

She screams, “Daddy!  Daddy!  Are you watching me!?”  And she screams this right before her barely 4 year-old legs jump off of a concrete ledge into a plateau of soft grass.

My first thought is… this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

Then, by the sixth time it starts to get annoying.  The little girl had just the right pitch to  make teeth clench and and knuckles cringe.

This is the real-life version of Mad T.V.’s character ‘Stuart’ and his favorite line, “Look what I can do!”

Pretty soon I start to think negatively of a four year old, “You’re not that special, anyone can do that.”

Then a couple old ladies with canes come walking from around the corner.  Clearly they wouldn’t be able to do that.

I am humbled.

I was humbled and I started to realize that if someone is trying to get their father’s attention by showing off, it isn’t any of my business… even if it is annoying.

The fact is I’m jealous.

She screams because she can’t stand for there to be anything interfering with the relationship between her and with the one that brought her life.

She starves for the attention of her father.  She aches for his approval.

She reminds me of the shame that I feel when I don’t.