I thought that I had it all figured out.  I thought that I was the ultimate ladies man.  And not because I was beefed up and had rippling abs like Jacob from ‘Twilight’.  I was actually the opposite.  I was somewhere in between the gay best friend of the hot girl in most chick flicks and the super sanguine, metro-sexual radio personality Ryan Seacrest.

In college I purposely didn’t date anybody until the tail end.  I wanted to observe other relationships and evaluate them until I discovered key ingredients.  Needless to say my science experiment left me high and dry with no real answers except the ‘what not to do’ stuff you could figure out by watching any sitcom on Nick at Night.

After hearing from my disgruntled colleagues their opinions as to why their passed relationships didn’t work I felt like I had an advantage.  I could see everything from the outside looking in.  Learn from their mistakes.  I learned what not to do. Knowing this I thought I had the whole husband thing figured out.  I knew everyone had real work with their relationships but I thought that I was the exception to the rule.

I thought that because I was in touch with my feminine side, I was a really good listener, I like shopping, and would rather share feelings than fight or watch football that I was a step ahead of everyone else.  I was wrong.

It’s funny because just learning what not to do wasn’t good enough.  All I knew was what not to do and even though it’s priceless information and makes for great character disciplines…

it’s only half of the puzzle.

And anything that’s only half… isn’t whole.

People sometimes think following Christ is memorizing ways how not to screw up.

By learning a list of things I shouldn’t do I end up playing defense in whatever situation that I have.  I learn how to keep the orange cones in the proper boundaries so that I don’t screw up too bad.  Keeping the net from getting scored on is a good thing.  But it doesn’t make you win the game.

Life is more than setting up orange cones. It’s like a friend of mine says: “You can do nothing wrong and still do nothing right.”  In order to win the game, it’s not enough just know how not to act.  Even more important than that is knowing how to act.

And before you know the ‘how’, you have to know the ‘why’. Because at the root of any healthy relationship it’s always driven by knowing what it’s really all about at the core…

whether it’s with a College Girlfriend who eventually becomes your wife or a Creative Godhead who becomes your whole life.

1 john 5.2-3